Please forgive the complete chaotic-ness of this post. It is a prayer that has been prayed many, many times throughout this summer, and I am in no means, a master of articulation. I will revist this post at a later time, and possibly clarify my feelings. But just as this post is filled with confused ramblings, so my soul also feels.
Why God? Why?!?
Why is that every time I see a headcovering, skirt-wearing gal, I feel this extreme desire to follow suit? Why is it that whenever I see a pretty girl wearing those cute bootie shorts, I want to join ranks with her? I want to be desired, Lord, by men. I'm not gonna lie--I really do!
God, God, God! is it possible to be well-liked and be modest at the same time? . How can I ignore this nagging desire. You know that I want to please you, but You also know of all my uncertainties.
Can a young, Catholic woman truly cover her head full-time? I know that I am subject to pride--Will I only grow in pride rather than humility.
I want to wear jeans, bootie shorts, and bikinis. I want to have my hair bleached, skin tanned, and nails manicured. Are they all wrong? The world teaches those things to be desirable to all. It is desirable to me!
God, I beg of You! Please just leave me alone in this area! It is too hard, too difficult, and I do not want to deal with it right now. I should be putting myself forwards, and gain new experiences. I can only do that if people want to be friends with me!
Earlier this year, I covered my head starting in August and ending in April. Did I gain anything from it? I do not know. I don't think I was mature enough to fully understand the gravity of what I was doing. I was always afraid of someone from my church finding out, or if my friends would ever discover that I was covering for religious purposes. My own Dad hated the scarf! Granted, I was not attractive in it, nor did I ever attempt to try to look pretty. Perhaps, this time around, I would have a different view on the whole issue.
But God, I just don't know! I. Do. Not. Want. To. Cover. My. Head. Period. God, if this truly is Your Command, then take it away! I feel as though that, if I were to cover, I would still be hounded with questions. Is this your Will? Why am I doing this? I look stupid!
I desire Your Will. Only Your Will. I submit myself to Your Will.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Giveaway at Seven Sisters!
The lovely young ladies over at Seven Sisters are hosting a wonderful giveaway! One lucky winner will receive a customized stationery set!
Hurry, because this giveaway ends on Saturday, February 19th at 11:59 p.m. EST
Click the link to enter!
Hurry, because this giveaway ends on Saturday, February 19th at 11:59 p.m. EST
Click the link to enter!
Procrastination and Prayer
Procrastinators Unite! ... Tomorrow!
I should be working on homework right now, but I am feeling the urge to blog instead! A good trade-off, no?
God has placed it on my heart recently to rethink about my relationship with Him. I am constantly worried about my relationship with Jesus Christ; living with the feeling that I am so far from Him. And yet, it was only a few days ago when I realized that He has always been there, but I have not! I had always understood Salvation to be something of a great revival of the heart's love for God. But now I realize that it is not!
For the longest time, I had been expecting to feel God next to me, to see God in my surroundings, to touch God with my hands, and to know Him as well as I know my family. Now, I realize that I was not putting anything into our relationship, and that make me sad. How long has He been calling my name, and I've been ignoring Him? I would gripe over not having that unique relationship with Christ, but I never once realized that said relationships are like a two-way street.
The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. Luke 4:18
The Greek word for "poor" is ptochos, meaning "utter helplessness, complete destitution, afflicted, distressed." With that in mind, it would only make sense to understand that Christ is here for me, and you--the poor of heart and spirit. So my loneliness will create a stronger bond between God and me? I hope so.
Christ came to heal the brokenhearted! God, help me to always remember that!
"I picture God focusing steadily on the object of repair. One stitch follows another. It takes time. I picture painful penetrations of the healing needle. I don't know about you, but I'm quite sure if my healing processes had been painless, I would have relapsed" (Beth Moore).
I firmly believe that it is God's Will to first break us into bending our stiff knees and show our respect to His authority. But I also believe that Satan also plays a part in this painful process. Disorderliness, confusion, hatred are all the devil, but God uses those functions to His greater glory!
Now I feel at peace knowing that I am tired and broken. I am alright with the loneliness and the emptiness, because now I realize that only when am I truly broken and helpless in my own eyes, can God come and save me.
I should be working on homework right now, but I am feeling the urge to blog instead! A good trade-off, no?
God has placed it on my heart recently to rethink about my relationship with Him. I am constantly worried about my relationship with Jesus Christ; living with the feeling that I am so far from Him. And yet, it was only a few days ago when I realized that He has always been there, but I have not! I had always understood Salvation to be something of a great revival of the heart's love for God. But now I realize that it is not!
For the longest time, I had been expecting to feel God next to me, to see God in my surroundings, to touch God with my hands, and to know Him as well as I know my family. Now, I realize that I was not putting anything into our relationship, and that make me sad. How long has He been calling my name, and I've been ignoring Him? I would gripe over not having that unique relationship with Christ, but I never once realized that said relationships are like a two-way street.
The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. Luke 4:18
The Greek word for "poor" is ptochos, meaning "utter helplessness, complete destitution, afflicted, distressed." With that in mind, it would only make sense to understand that Christ is here for me, and you--the poor of heart and spirit. So my loneliness will create a stronger bond between God and me? I hope so.
Christ came to heal the brokenhearted! God, help me to always remember that!
"I picture God focusing steadily on the object of repair. One stitch follows another. It takes time. I picture painful penetrations of the healing needle. I don't know about you, but I'm quite sure if my healing processes had been painless, I would have relapsed" (Beth Moore).
I firmly believe that it is God's Will to first break us into bending our stiff knees and show our respect to His authority. But I also believe that Satan also plays a part in this painful process. Disorderliness, confusion, hatred are all the devil, but God uses those functions to His greater glory!
Now I feel at peace knowing that I am tired and broken. I am alright with the loneliness and the emptiness, because now I realize that only when am I truly broken and helpless in my own eyes, can God come and save me.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
New Blog from Jamie
Jamie, .From the Inside Out. has unveiled the blog that every one needs to see.
An excerpt from the "name" page:
"Modest is Oddest? Isn't it supposed to be 'modest is HOTTEST'?"
Actually, the name "Modest is Oddest" means exactly what it says. :)
For starters, let me give you the definitions of "hott" and then "odd":
1. Hot
-Slang
a. sexually aroused; lustful
b. sexy; attractive
2. Odd
-Adjective
a. differing in nature from what is ordinary, usual or expected
Now, which more correctly describes modest apparel? "Sexy; attractive" or "differing in nature from what is ordinary, usual or expected"?
The name of this blog says it all. Modest is Oddest. Because, well, it is! This world doesn't promote modesty, therefore modest apparel is different in nature from what is ordinary, usual or expected.
We, however, as followers of YHWH the one true God and his son, Jesus Christ the Messiah, live by a different set of standards! We are odd and very peculiar to the world because we are different. :)
That is what this blog is here to promote! A set-apart view of modesty, fashion and inner and outer beauty!
Actually, the name "Modest is Oddest" means exactly what it says. :)
For starters, let me give you the definitions of "hott" and then "odd":
1. Hot
-Slang
a. sexually aroused; lustful
b. sexy; attractive
2. Odd
-Adjective
a. differing in nature from what is ordinary, usual or expected
Now, which more correctly describes modest apparel? "Sexy; attractive" or "differing in nature from what is ordinary, usual or expected"?
The name of this blog says it all. Modest is Oddest. Because, well, it is! This world doesn't promote modesty, therefore modest apparel is different in nature from what is ordinary, usual or expected.
We, however, as followers of YHWH the one true God and his son, Jesus Christ the Messiah, live by a different set of standards! We are odd and very peculiar to the world because we are different. :)
That is what this blog is here to promote! A set-apart view of modesty, fashion and inner and outer beauty!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Working on the Sabbath
My first question is this: what day does the Sabbath belong too? I know that the Old Testament spoke of the Sabbath being on the seventh day on the week. But in this home, it is celebrated on Sunday.
My Mother said that the reason why we celebrate the Sabbath on Sundays is because Christ died on a Friday, and rose on the third day--it being Sunday. So, was it a man-made ruling that caused the Sabbath to be moved? Or was it truly divine intervention that encouraged the change?
And furthermore, what about working on the Sabbath? God adamantly proclaims throughout the Bible that those who work on the Sabbath will be severely punished! This statement contrasts strongly with what my community believes. All of the stores around here are open, and people are shopping. I went shopping myself, this morning too.
So, what is the answer?
My Mother said that the reason why we celebrate the Sabbath on Sundays is because Christ died on a Friday, and rose on the third day--it being Sunday. So, was it a man-made ruling that caused the Sabbath to be moved? Or was it truly divine intervention that encouraged the change?
And furthermore, what about working on the Sabbath? God adamantly proclaims throughout the Bible that those who work on the Sabbath will be severely punished! This statement contrasts strongly with what my community believes. All of the stores around here are open, and people are shopping. I went shopping myself, this morning too.
So, what is the answer?
Monday, January 31, 2011
It Matters.
Make sure that what you believe is true, because there is a fine line between Heaven and Hell!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
The Stock Pot
"Put away the stock," Mom said. "Put it away? ...now?" said I.
Internally, I am thinking to myself, "That pot is full of boiling hot stock, and she wants me to put a steaming pot of stock into the freezer? Why??" I vocalized my question to Mom as she rushed around to make stew for dinner. "Just do it," said Mom.
I shrug my shoulders and think "Well, Mother usually knows best, but THIS I don't understand!"
So I carefully heave this steaming pot of bones, fat, and liquid, and attempt to shove it into the freezer. I shove, and it does not go in. I shove harder, and only succeeded in burning myself. I tried to close the door with the pot still hanging off the shelf..."Ha," I said, "There's no way this pot is going into the freezer." So I just stand there, trying to find logical conclusion as to why this pot needed to go into the freezer, and how do I go about completing the task.
After attempting at least 10 different maneuvers, and succeeding in burning three of my fingers, Mom finally notices that I had disappeared. It must have been the pot clanging and my grunting that clued her in. Or perhaps her feet got cold from the freezer being open so long.Whatever the reason was, she finally noticed me!
"Dear, why are you putting the pot in the freezer?" "Because you told me too, Mom!" "No dear, I wanted you to put the container full of the strained broth into the refrigerator." "You're kidding," I said, "You told me to take this boiling hot stock pot and put it into the freezer!" "Did I?" said Mom. "Oh my, well I am so sorry! I meant for you to take the smaller container..."
Cooking with my Mom can be a very interesting experience. I have learned so much from her, and constantly ask questions whenever the need arises. So today, I am typing with three burned fingers, a pot of stew on the stove, and breath rising on the counter, and I am content.
Internally, I am thinking to myself, "That pot is full of boiling hot stock, and she wants me to put a steaming pot of stock into the freezer? Why??" I vocalized my question to Mom as she rushed around to make stew for dinner. "Just do it," said Mom.
I shrug my shoulders and think "Well, Mother usually knows best, but THIS I don't understand!"
So I carefully heave this steaming pot of bones, fat, and liquid, and attempt to shove it into the freezer. I shove, and it does not go in. I shove harder, and only succeeded in burning myself. I tried to close the door with the pot still hanging off the shelf..."Ha," I said, "There's no way this pot is going into the freezer." So I just stand there, trying to find logical conclusion as to why this pot needed to go into the freezer, and how do I go about completing the task.
After attempting at least 10 different maneuvers, and succeeding in burning three of my fingers, Mom finally notices that I had disappeared. It must have been the pot clanging and my grunting that clued her in. Or perhaps her feet got cold from the freezer being open so long.Whatever the reason was, she finally noticed me!
"Dear, why are you putting the pot in the freezer?" "Because you told me too, Mom!" "No dear, I wanted you to put the container full of the strained broth into the refrigerator." "You're kidding," I said, "You told me to take this boiling hot stock pot and put it into the freezer!" "Did I?" said Mom. "Oh my, well I am so sorry! I meant for you to take the smaller container..."
Cooking with my Mom can be a very interesting experience. I have learned so much from her, and constantly ask questions whenever the need arises. So today, I am typing with three burned fingers, a pot of stew on the stove, and breath rising on the counter, and I am content.
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