Procrastination and Prayer

Procrastinators Unite! ... Tomorrow!

I should be working on homework right now, but I am feeling the urge to blog instead! A good trade-off, no?

God has placed it on my heart recently to rethink about my relationship with Him. I am constantly worried about my relationship with Jesus Christ; living with the feeling that I am so far from Him. And yet, it was only a few days ago when I realized that He has always been there, but I have not! I had always understood Salvation to be something of a great revival of the heart's love for God. But now I realize that it is not!

For the longest time, I had been expecting to feel God next to me, to see God in my surroundings, to touch God with my hands, and to know Him as well as I know my family. Now, I realize that I was not putting anything into our relationship, and that make me sad. How long has He been calling my name, and I've been ignoring Him? I would gripe over not having that unique relationship with Christ, but I never once realized that said relationships are like a two-way street.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. Luke 4:18
The Greek word for "poor" is ptochos, meaning "utter helplessness, complete destitution, afflicted, distressed." With that in mind, it would only make sense to understand that Christ is here for me, and you--the poor of heart and spirit. So my loneliness will create a stronger bond between God and me? I hope so.

Christ came to heal the brokenhearted! God, help me to always remember that!

"I picture God focusing steadily on the object of repair. One stitch follows another. It takes time. I picture painful penetrations of the healing needle. I don't know about you, but I'm quite sure if my healing processes had been painless, I would have relapsed" (Beth Moore).

I firmly believe that it is God's Will to first break us into bending our stiff knees and show our respect to His authority. But I also believe that Satan also plays a part in this painful process. Disorderliness, confusion, hatred are all the devil, but God uses those functions to His greater glory!

Now I feel at peace knowing that I am tired and broken. I am alright with the loneliness and the emptiness, because now I realize that only when am I truly broken and helpless in my own eyes, can God come and save me.